The annual Eurovision Song Contest – formerly and more romantically (i.e. French): Grand Prix Eurovision de la Chanson; held in the country of Azerbaijan this time – is one of those utterly inexplicable, bizarre European things that just keeps living on. Everyone claims they pay no attention to it and then up to 600 million people worldwide make a fun night of it, watching it with friends. Ironically, of course.

In light of this, it is perhaps no surprise that Germany’s entry this year is a sensitive, tattooed, long-lashed 21-year-old hipster that you want to punch in the face for being so damn cliché and then maybe gently stroke his still perfect hair after.


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